Monday, May 21, 2007

So that's like from here to ...

I rode 100 miles on Saturday. 100. Wow.

So that's like from Starkville, to Meridian. Or from here to the Mercedes plant in Alabama. Or here to Columbus - and back - twice. Wow.

It wasn't such a big deal until after I did it. Now I keep thinking about all the things that are 100 miles apart.

Like last year and this year.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Consumption

Consumption seems to be a word that fits my life right now. My time is consumed by biking. I'm amazed at the amount of "fuel" (Power Bars, Power Gels, bananas, granola bars, gatorade) that I consume each week to keep my legs spinning. Some days, I am consumed by thoughts of cancer. I wonder how much gasoline I can keep from consuming this year by choosing to ride my bike instead.

The Tahoe ride is the major consumer right now. I can't wait. This will be the longest, most beautiful bike ride I've ever done. The fact that it is in the mountains is just icing. Add to that that Dawn and Katherine will be there. Add to it that it's a road trip with Zach. Sprinkle in a side trip to the Grand Canyon and the Meteor Crater site. Toss in a short ride in the desert - just to stretch my legs. Maybe a jump in the frigid lake when we get there. Top it off with a screaming descent after cranking up Spooner. It doesn't happen often to me, but I might just be speechless after that ride. Or I may never quit talking.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Ah, life!

What's up? The mileage. I'm on course for this to be my first 200-mile week. It's strange that my weekday "maintenance rides" are now longer than my long weekend ride 2 months ago. Probably the most difficult part now is just trying to figure out how to get the miles in. I turned in a leave request form today to leave work at 3:00 every Tuesday and Thursday for the rest of the month. I have to decide which weekend day to dedicate to the ride, as from here out, it's pretty much 5-7 hours on the bike, not including travel to and from wherever I'm riding, time to pack, time to shower, etc. The logistics are getting fun, too. I have to figure out routes that will put me near places to refill water bottles and restock food as necessary. The days of a quick 10-mile ride are long gone. I don't know that I'll see an under-30-mile ride between now and Tahoe. Oh yeah, and somewhere in there is my family, my job, yard work, sleep, ... I'm glad I chose the training schedule that is less likely to cause burnout. *whew*

Not that I'm complaining. I've said it before - it feels good to feel good again. It feels good to be on the last hole of my belt. The last time I hit the last hole, it was the one on the other end.

We spent last weekend in Nashville. Katherine ran in the Country Music Half Marathon and kicked major butt. She knocked 17 minutes off her last 1/2 marathon. Not bad.

I met a guy last night (on the phone) who was just diagnosed with the Hodge. During the conversation, it just felt strange to be on "this end" of it. Hearing him talk about the diagnosis, treatments, etc. brought me back to last year. My first chemo treatment was April 27.

Friday, March 23, 2007

MedicAlert

As I push the mileage, my pre-ride prep is changing. I have to pack more "fuel" (power gels, bananas, etc). I have to think about things like getting a flat 20 miles out in the country. I have to check out the sunset time and plan for that - including the extra time spent on a potential flat. I watch wind speed and direction, think about traffic patterns at different times of day, consider what dogs might be let out as the owners get home from work, try to come up with something new to think about for two hours.

I also have to wear a medical alert bracelet, carry the medical emergency card that goes with it, and make sure I have identification and insurance cards - just in case.

My ride yesterday had me focused on the medical alert bracelet. One of the benefits of my cancer treatment is that I now carry a strange "allergy". The Bleomycin that I was treated with left me with the potential to die from... oxygen. There are some case studies in which people given high levels of oxygen, as in surgery or scuba diving, ended up with severe damage to the lungs that resulted in death. Oxygen. The stuff we need to live. It could kill me. So I wear this annoying bracelet just in case I wipe out, and am taken, unconscious, to a hospital, and along the way, they decide to strap on an oxygen mask and crank it up.

And while I was thinking about how strange all that was, it dawned on me that the little clinking noise I was trying to track down on my bike was coming from my bracelet. And the mystery of how the dogs all seem to know I'm coming was solved. Those yippy little beasts listen for the clinking with their ratty little dog ears, call each other to meet in the bushes, setting up the ambush. Well, Rat Pack, I'm on to you! I will silence my bracelet and you can wake up from your slothy sleep to the sound of my bike whooshing past your am-bush. See ya!

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Crazy days

I made my first biking video yesterday! Make sure you have the speakers cranked! I have a hard time watching it - it makes me want to get out and RIDE! Dawn had a hard time watching it - she said it brought her back to "that day".

I read an article today that talks about the increased risk that Hodgkin's survivors have for secondary cancers later down the road. Now there's something to look forward to. If cancer comes looking for me, I'll be out for a bike ride.

Check out Cliff's blog. Cliff is a real hero. Another Hodge-kicker, he just passed day +150 from a bone marrow transplant and is out grabbing life by the horns. While you're at it, check out his biking videos on youtube. I especially like "The Spin", "Lucky Man", and "Heart of Gold."

Well, the weather is great today. I think I'm heading out early for "a meeting". Shhhhhh!

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Headwinds...

Tons of riding lately. I'm just trying to log some serious mileage. My legs are good, but my butt doesn't like the saddle time. It'll get used to it.

I knocked off work early yesterday to get a ride in. I went for the 20 miler out-and-back on Old West Point Road. Some friends were in town and we were meeting them, so it had to be a fast one. So a 20-mile sprint it was.

This road bike thing is so different than mountain biking. There's so much time to think. Everything on the road is a reason to think. I think about the people in the houses I'm passing, the cars that are driving by, the emmisions I'm breathing, how many hamburgers can be made with the cows in the pasture, when the last time the lines on the road were painted.

But every challenge on the road is a link to cancer. "Persevere" has become my mantra for hills, sprints, headwinds, and just plain tiredness. The ride out yesterday was fast. I could feel the blood swelling my leg muscles by mile 5. I felt good. I felt mad. Mad? That's a new one. I had to think about that. And why not - I mean I'm riding, right?

Brian lost a friend this week. Skye just wants her husband to support her. Anne-Marie would settle for the strength to get through a day. I'd settle for her being cured. Damn this disease. It's a headwind - and a mean one at that. It's a headwind, on an uphill, at the end of a 20-mile sprint. It's ruthless.

And that's what I was thinking with that headwind, going up that hill, on the last mile before my house. "Persevere." "PERSEVERE!" I guess I can be a bit ruthless when I want, too. Thanks, Hodge, for a good workout. And just so you know, I'll be looking for a more worthy training partner.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Mostly clean

I visited my radiology oncologist today. He said everything looks good. The detailed version of "looks good" is that my last scans still show some enlargement of the original nodes, but that's to be expected. Hodgkin's is notorious for leaving scar tissue behind and leaving nodes "stretched out". So, for now, we assume there's no cancer, as none was detected from the PET scan, but we keep an eye on it anyway. I'm ok with that.

Monday, February 19, 2007

So, I worked out last Friday. That's like last week. I thought about it over the weekend as I was wrestling my t-shirt - I haven't worked out in 20 years. I've excercised, done lots of biking and hiking, but haven't lifted weights. Did I mention that I am SORE!? Wow.

So, I got my training schedule from Mike last week. My goals are simple - get in shape, lose weight, regain the muscle lost from chemo, get my legs back (for biking, not modeling), get my lungs back. I'm pretty excited about the plan, actually. I'm finally fitting back into jeans that I haven't worn for over 2 years. I'm actually concerned about what I eat again. I look forward to my long and hard riding days. Don't expect a high-five from me though, because I just... can't... lift my arms right now. :/

Monday, February 05, 2007

Is something burning?

It must have been my legs. I couldn't figure out what was slowing me down - while it felt like an anchor, I suspected my brake pads were dragging. It turns out that I was so bundled up for the cold, that I didn't realize the HEADWIND! And let me just say, for the record, that headwinds suck. The one Saturday turned my 40 mile ride into a 15 mile it-feels-so-good-to-be-home ride.

I sure have been thinking about cancer a lot lately. I wish it would go away. I want to move on to thinking about other stuff, but it keeps showing up uninvited. It's a motivator, I suppose. It's making me put my health as a higher priority. I'm losing weight and riding more. I'm much more concerned about what food I'm eating (well, except for an occassional late-night pig fest). Don't get me wrong - I don't mind thinking or talking about cancer, I just want to do it when I want to do it. I want the choice to think about it or not. Right now, it's just always there. And sometimes, I just wish it would go away.

Friday, February 02, 2007

Spinning...

Wow. I sent out an email yesterday at lunch asking for support for the century ride in Tahoe. By the time I got back from lunch, I already had over $750 in contributions! I'm constantly amazed at the generosity of people. In fact, I'm pretty overwelmed by it.

I had a great spin last night at the gym. My friend Cliff, from the Hodgkin's forum, is making some biking videos and putting them up on youtube. Cliff is a pretty amazing guy who's been in his own Hodge battle for quite some time. Spinning in a gym isn't on of my favorite things to do, but I'm really committed to this training thing and just getting healthier in general. Well, last night, I warmed up, cranked up some good music on the mp3 player, settled into a good, hard pace, canked up the heart rate, closed my eyes, and imagined riding along on Cliff's rides. It was an awesome ride. Cliff, we'll ride together for real one of these days, I'm sure of it!

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Deep breath

I'm giving this another go. I haven't blogged in quite a while, mainly because of that whole cancer thing. If you're new here and don't know me, I was diagnosed last April with Hodkin's Lymphoma. In my best Mony Python voice, "I got bettah!" Been in remission for a few months now. I'm on the 3-month scan/test/doc visit cycle now.

Speaking of cycles!!!! I'm signed up with Team in Training to do a 100-mile bike ride at Tahoe on June 3 as a fund raiser for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. Please support me with a donation!!

So, this newest attempt at a blog is to just record my thoughts and progress as I train for the event and get my life back. Do come back - if I'm not here, I'm probably out biking.